Culture

I remember I was in a book club with my friend Leslie for the first time in the spring of 2012. It was one of my first “official” book clubs, and I was so excited. The books chosen were always very interesting and meaningful, and a small group of us met in her backyard and sat together on the grass to discuss the book and share treats. It was all very “hygge” even though I didn’t know what that meant then.

Now, fast forward to 2018. I have been in a few book clubs since and I’m really intrigued by the idea of what makes a good book club. So, I reached out to my friend Leslie, reminiscing back on that warm, spring book club experience, to get all of her best advice.

Here’s what she shared:

Be intentional about who is in the club

I have had book clubs that were an open invited. These are really fun, but tend to be more social than literary. Currently, I have a book club with my sister and our best friend. Even though we live in 3 different time zones, we Skype and it’s awesome.

Set boundaries around the conversation

A favorite book club had a very strict rule that you can only discuss the book between the opening and closing poem. It was silly, but made it a really focused book club.

How to decide on books

For a large book club, my favorite way is to have everyone submit 3-5 books. Then they have everyone vote on each person’s recommendations. It helps ensure that the books are going to be a good fit for the group while allowing each member to have a chance to pick a book. For smaller or niche clubs, this isn’t necessary.

Don’t be afraid to make it a niche group

Love books about social justice? Make it the theme for your club. SciFi, YA lit, mystery, or even cookbooks can be great themes.

Take the pressure off the discussion leader

I like having 2 people in charge per meeting. One is in charge of prepping for and then leading the discussion. The other hosts. It’s at their house and they prepare snacks.

I’m so excited to incorporate these tips into a book club that I’m in right now! Do you have any tips you’d like to add?

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With Nick’s job, we move a lot. Every summer we move to a different place in the country, and leave our family and friends back in Utah. We’ve also moved from apartment to apartment to house a lot in between. We counted our moves recently, and they have totaled 12 since we were married 5 years ago. In between all of those moves we’ve learned some valuable lessons about all sorts of things moving related.

I wanted to create a series of blog posts centered around moving, talking about all different aspects, and helpful tips and tricks. I’m planning on including things like: tips for packing, tips for the day of the move, adjusting to living in a new city and meeting new people, and in this post I’ll be talking about saying goodbye to family and loved ones. If you have any other suggestions of aspects of moving to discuss, please let me know!

Disclaimer: We’ve only ever moved impermanently, so it hasn’t ever been as hard for us as it will be for others. But we have had to be away from family/friends for half of the year every year. These are our tips from this background, however, they should be applicable to all moving situations.

Make sure to schedule time around your move to say all of the goodbyes you want to: I would suggest to start saying your goodbyes as early as a couple weeks before. If there’s a friend that you can’t see as regularly, plan a get together a couple of weeks before. Then space out your other goodbyes. I typically save family for last, so that I can give them the last goodbye, and we can spend the most time with them. Nothing’s harder than trying to squeeze all of your goodbyes in in the last couple of days when you are packing and already very overwhelmed.

Don’t put too much pressure on the goodbye: Your family might be having a rough day, your friends might be having a rough day, your kids might be having a rough day, you might even be having a rough day. Don’t put too much pressure on the goodbye; just spend time together and make sure they know you love them.

Just say goodbye “for now”: Saying goodbye is so much easier if it doesn’t seem like the end of your relationship as you know it. Plan a time to visit family/friends, or have family/friends visit you, even if its a year from now. Having something to look forward to, and get excited about will make the transition more of a “goodbye for now,” rather than a “goodbye forever.”

Plan a time to call/Facetime often: If you are the type of person that has a hard time remembering to FaceTime loved ones, plan a time each day, each week or each month, where you can FaceTime them and have time to reconnect and catch up. This will ensure that you sustain your relationship, and it’ll take the guesswork out of when to call.

Do you have any tips on saying goodbye to loved ones?? Or any moving blog post ideas that you’d love to see discussed? If so, let me know in the comments!

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How to host an amazing book club

Moving: On saying goodbye to family and loved ones