Moving: On getting settled and making new friends

Ok, can I just start this by being really honest? I feel a little hesitant writing about this because, obviously, I’m not an expert at getting settled somewhere and making new friends. How can you be an expert at things like those?

This year moving to Texas, I had a really hard time with the transition. It took me weeks to really unpack, and feel normal and excited about life again after all of the constant change. But, that’s part of being human right? We have harder times, and they make the good times that much sweeter.

Ok, on to some tips, because this IS our sixth year doing summer sales (with quite a few moves to different apartments between them before we bought our home a couple of years ago), so we do have lots of experience with this.

On getting settled:

Get to know your neighbors:

This one has been so helpful this year! When you get to know those directly around you, it makes your new home so much more homey. You can wave at them when they head to work, or ask them how their new dog is doing with potty training. Something about making these connections so close in proximity to your physical living space makes life so much more meaningful and bright.

Make yourself unpack the stuff:

When you feel the tiniest bit of energy and momentum, make yourself unpack the stuff! Unpacking will help you feel so much more at ease. You will know where things are, and you’ll be able to make yourself mac and cheese when the craving strikes.

Having said this, if you don’t feel like unpacking the stuff, give yourself some grace. Moving is hard and sometimes it takes a minute to find your footing and motivation.

Get a lay of the land:

As soon as you can, get out and get to know the area. Find your grocery store, post office, local gym, library, and the best parks! Pay attention to street names. Google maps the things you need help finding, until you don’t need the help anymore.

Ask for recommendations:

Ask around for recommendations of cool things to do, and find out makes your new city special. We’ve gotten all of our best recommendations this way! There are so many hidden gems you can find by asking the locals.

Use this as a time to start fresh:

Using a move as a new beginning is one of my favorite things. It’s a very natural time to start fresh. You can be intentional about who you want to be, and the way you want to live. Want to be a runner? Take up running the day after you move in, make it a routine in your new home. Want to be a more attentive friend, start now, with the new friends you make! Speaking of friends…

On making new friends:

Put yourself out there:

Put yourself in public places: parks, church, stores, the gym, and be friendly to others. Strike up a conversation with the woman you sit next to in church with interesting hair, or that Mom at your new favorite park.

Make yourself available:

This one is hard with busy lives and schedules, but if you want to make friends fast, make yourself available to your friends. Try to squeeze in that movie or playdate, even if it’s at an inconvenient time. Prioritize making it to events and activities that will help you show new acquaintances that you are excited about spending more time with them.

Organize the get-togethers, don’t just wait for them to happen:

If you want to go to a get-together with new friends, make it happen! Invite some people over for a game night, or arrange a playdate to the pool. Chances are, there are probably lots of people that would love to do something, who just haven’t felt comfortable arranging it. Be the one to take the initiative instead of waiting around for the invite.

Don’t limit yourself to certain ages, ethnicities or types of people:

There is so much that we can learn and gain from every single person. Don’t limit yourself to thinking you can only be friends with a certain type. Some of our favorite friends we’ve made with summer sales have been made with friends we may not have expected, but have been such a blessing in our lives.

What would you add? I’d love to hear your thoughts on how to get settled and make new friends!